Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Plunk ABCs

Yesterday, frequent commenter JimBob asked for a list of the top historical plunk getters by last initial. The problem is, I couldn't imagine presenting such a list in any format but that of the classic children's ABCs books. So you can blame JimBob for the following, or you can print it out, get a muppet to read it to your kids, and be thankful that FINALLY you have a way to teach children the alphabet and hit-by-pitch trivia at the same time. Meanwhile, I'll try to stop Dr. Seuss from spinning in his grave too much, and wait for Jurisfiction to come haul me off for crimes against poetry.

A is for the plunks of Brady Anderson
one hundred fifty four when he was done.

B is for Houston's own Craig Biggio,
two hundred seventy three plunks as you know,
we hope that he still has a long time to go
and he'll break Jennings' record - as an Astro.

C's for Fred Clarke, at the old ball park,
one hundred fifty three plunks before dark

D stands for one named Bill Dahlen, for now,
one hundred and forty plunks made him say "Ow",
but Carlos Delgado is one plunk behind,
when he passes Dahlen we really won't mind.

Kid Elberfeld is our man with an E,
one hundred and sixty five pitches struck he.

F is a catcher named Carlton Fisk -
he wasn't afraid of taking a risk -
his HBPs total one forty three,
but now he's a Hall of Fame inductee

G represents Andres Galarraga,
his long career was a plunk filled saga.
One hundred seventy eight times, the Big Cat,
got hit by a pitch when he went up to bat.

H is for Hunt, Ron Hunt that is,
two hundred forty three plunks are all his

I is the letter for Charlie Irwin,
his sixty one plunks made his manager grin

J is for Jennings, the all time plunk king,
Hughie's two eighty seven is still standing.

K is Jason Kendall's last initial,
his hundred and ninety seven plunks are official.

L is for Lemon, his first name is Chet,
one hundred and fifty one plunks he did get.

M stands for Dan McGann who was sturdy
enough to take plunks numbered two hundred thirty.

N is for outfielder Bill Nicholson
Fifty two plunks are all that he won.

O stands for first basemen John Olerud,
eighty eight pitches have struck this old dude.

P is for Padden, his first name was Dick.
Ninety seven plunks proved that his skin was thick.

Q is for Joe Quinn whose career dates back
to a time before anyone really kept track
of hit batters to whom first base was awarded,
so thirty nine plunks were all he recorded.

R is for Nats skipper Frank Robinson,
whose hundred and ninety eighty plunks weren't much fun

S is the letter for Gary Sheffield,
his hundred and seventeen bruises have healed

T's for Tommy Tucker, maybe you've heard,
his two hundred seventy two plunks now rank third.

U's most hit player was Willie Upshaw,
23 plunks are all that he saw.

V is Fernando Vina's own letter,
one hundred fifty seven plunks - few can better.

W is for Curt Welch, you see,
his plunk total was one seventy three.

X is left out - no one in the game
has ever had X to start his last name.

Y is for third baseman Eddie Yost,
his 99 plunks surely called for a toast.

and Z's for Chief Zimmer, who had ninety one
pitches hit him, and now we are done.


At 9/27/2005 03:56:00 PM, Anonymous Official Girlfriend of the Plunk Biggio Reporter said...

See? This is what I have to put up with.

At 9/27/2005 06:13:00 PM, Anonymous 25 aint 26 said...

I am troubled by the absence of an X, and suggest you bend the naming convention to fill the gap.

You might, for example, consider any members of the Singapore X-Men Softball team (http://eteamz.active.com/xmen/) or the old Cuban X Giants (http://www.nlbpa.com/cuban_x_giants.html). Surely somebody on one of those squads took a few on the noggin.

At 9/28/2005 09:22:00 AM, Blogger pbr said...

I guess we'll have to wait until endorsement deals get so out of control that some player legally changes his name to Microsoft Xbox or Nissan Xterra.

At 9/28/2005 10:43:00 AM, Anonymous JimBob said...

Brilliant! As always.

At 9/29/2005 10:47:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Was ex-Astro Xavier Hernandez ever plunked? Maybe that should count.

At 9/29/2005 06:55:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Official Girlfriend!

It could be worse. Just hope that your boyfriend doesn't start tracking David Carr sacks. Hard to calculate that high.


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